Yesterday THE WOMAN ACROSS THE CUBE fasted. All Day. In the morning she was jittery and chatty, I assume in an attempt to divert her attention away from her mild starvation. She called old friends and lost siblings, requested money for charity from some while complaining about her stomach pangs to others.
By 10 am I warned Lazy Secretary #2 that it was a "double headphone day" meaning she should wear both ipod headphones to drown out the inane chatter.
Unexpectedly, by 3:00 she was silent, like a horse with a broken spirit she continued sipping her Poland Spring water bottles...waiting for an apple. Around 4:00 she bit into that succulent fruit...commenting between bites that "everything's fine! this apple's all I need! everything in moderation"
She doesn't need to fast. If I look like her when I'm a grandmother all will be right with the world.
Today is a silent day. Its the kind of day where the phone only rings 4 times and all of The Big Executives are away at wonderful places: surfing at small beaches with hard to pronounce names where the concierges don't speak English, sipping coffee in Paris Bistros, or like my boss remodeling his Hamptons home by using nothing but non-union labor and gumption.
Its the kind of day where I am forced to ask myself, what does this all mean? Here is what I've done today:
Finished a book (The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls) by reading roughly 150 pages.
Went to have my eyebrows threaded
chatted with my boyfriend twice
submitted to various projects on-line via Craigslist
set up my new Ipod video, a gift from my father
logged onto petfinder.com to continue my search for a dog to rescue
researched what type of dog would be best for me, to my shock a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel came in second just under Maltese.
and obviously I caught up on email.
Here is what I didn't do:
make any contribution to society.
hmmmm. are contributions to society overrated? Am I stuck in a holding pattern?
I don't think I'm very different from other people. Lots of 30 year olds are in dead end yet cush jobs.
I know I'm talented, I know I have something to contribute to the world. I have so many ideas but I think I'm afraid.
Ick this blog is getting touchy-feely. I have to stop.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
The Club
On Fridays, The Big Executive, aka my boss isn't in the office. He is sitting poolside at his Hamptons home smoking cigarettes and sipping vodka tonics. This creates an extra long and lazy day for me, The Lazy Secretary. After Free Friday Pizza at noon, The Big Executive called me from the Mercedes dealership and asked me to run an errand for him,
"Can you take my dues to The Club? They're going to put my name up in the entryway because I haven't paid in three months!"
Its a free 20 minutes out of the office for me! Hooray! So I grab the obscene check and head to the Fifth Avenue Club.
As the door opens the chilly air conditioned air puffs out onto the pavement and my heels snap on the marble: large, loud thuds like in an extra quiet library. In this enormous lobby reminiscent of Grand Central Station 15 old men are sitting around in armchairs wearing blazers and having drinks. Not talking to each other-just loitering, staring. Its 1:00 in the afternoon! As if they are homeless, they give me that haggard gaze-that too many years in New York look. In my mind they are smoking pipes, of course they weren't but they should have been.
And I thought to myself. This is it. This is the New York I imagined before I moved here. The "dahling, please take me to 21 for cocktails" Breakfast at Tiffany's New York. The clean New York. The everything here is the best New York. Not the filthy subway, fat tourists, sweaty arm touching, black snow, weird food smelling, Pabst Blue Ribbon drinking New York City of my reality.
At least I caught a glimpse of it, if only for a minute.
"Can you take my dues to The Club? They're going to put my name up in the entryway because I haven't paid in three months!"
Its a free 20 minutes out of the office for me! Hooray! So I grab the obscene check and head to the Fifth Avenue Club.
As the door opens the chilly air conditioned air puffs out onto the pavement and my heels snap on the marble: large, loud thuds like in an extra quiet library. In this enormous lobby reminiscent of Grand Central Station 15 old men are sitting around in armchairs wearing blazers and having drinks. Not talking to each other-just loitering, staring. Its 1:00 in the afternoon! As if they are homeless, they give me that haggard gaze-that too many years in New York look. In my mind they are smoking pipes, of course they weren't but they should have been.
And I thought to myself. This is it. This is the New York I imagined before I moved here. The "dahling, please take me to 21 for cocktails" Breakfast at Tiffany's New York. The clean New York. The everything here is the best New York. Not the filthy subway, fat tourists, sweaty arm touching, black snow, weird food smelling, Pabst Blue Ribbon drinking New York City of my reality.
At least I caught a glimpse of it, if only for a minute.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The Israeli
Today while sitting at my cube a tall Mediterranean person swooshed by me with a plastic bag and a clipboard. He was going for my bosses door, so of course I have to counter back with big smile,
"Oh hi. How can I help you?"
"I'm here to measure glass"
"OMG, are you here to measure my cube?"
The rumor is we are getting new cubes. I was thrilled-- thinking the process was possibly underway...at the very possibility that this shithole could look a little less like Guantanamo Bay.
"No, I'm here to measure windows for blinds"
"Ohhhh. Well my boss is in a terrible mood, is there any way you can come back later? My boss, he ummm (whispering) he owns this company"
"okay okay, I come back later, I understand how this world is working"
Twenty minutes later he returned with his clipboard, he put it on the top edge of my cube and began:
"You should go to Israel! You would get so tan, my last girlfriend (clap) whiter than you. NO BURN! Just tan, (clapping). You party there! You go out all of the time and you party! And it is so small, people say, Hello you, good morning you!. I want to go back. I keep saying these things to remind myself. You should go!"
I didn't know how to respond, I always think of Israel as a place for college students going to a kibbutz or really big guns but I didn't want him to stop talking it was far too entertaining. So I said
"Yeah, I totally should go and see the holy land"
"What?"
"The holy land"
"What?"
"You know, the wall where the people pray and stick things in the wall"
"Are you Jewish?"
"No"
"You know, Jesus was not born in Israel he was born in Egypt to Miriam and she wanted to become pregnant, so she asked God and he made her pregnant. From NO SEX!"
Now this started to really excite me. I love hearing about religious conspiracies. And sex.
"Wooow. You are totally right I bet"
"Yes. In the military we were taught that are gun is our girlfriend. No girlfriends in the military. But they teach you, Hey you, have fun! Have fun when you are young and travel, don't get married! On your birthday, they get a girlfriend for you."
"Wooow."
"Okay I've got to go. I like talking. I like you. I'll see you in a few weeks"
"Oh hi. How can I help you?"
"I'm here to measure glass"
"OMG, are you here to measure my cube?"
The rumor is we are getting new cubes. I was thrilled-- thinking the process was possibly underway...at the very possibility that this shithole could look a little less like Guantanamo Bay.
"No, I'm here to measure windows for blinds"
"Ohhhh. Well my boss is in a terrible mood, is there any way you can come back later? My boss, he ummm (whispering) he owns this company"
"okay okay, I come back later, I understand how this world is working"
Twenty minutes later he returned with his clipboard, he put it on the top edge of my cube and began:
"You should go to Israel! You would get so tan, my last girlfriend (clap) whiter than you. NO BURN! Just tan, (clapping). You party there! You go out all of the time and you party! And it is so small, people say, Hello you, good morning you!. I want to go back. I keep saying these things to remind myself. You should go!"
I didn't know how to respond, I always think of Israel as a place for college students going to a kibbutz or really big guns but I didn't want him to stop talking it was far too entertaining. So I said
"Yeah, I totally should go and see the holy land"
"What?"
"The holy land"
"What?"
"You know, the wall where the people pray and stick things in the wall"
"Are you Jewish?"
"No"
"You know, Jesus was not born in Israel he was born in Egypt to Miriam and she wanted to become pregnant, so she asked God and he made her pregnant. From NO SEX!"
Now this started to really excite me. I love hearing about religious conspiracies. And sex.
"Wooow. You are totally right I bet"
"Yes. In the military we were taught that are gun is our girlfriend. No girlfriends in the military. But they teach you, Hey you, have fun! Have fun when you are young and travel, don't get married! On your birthday, they get a girlfriend for you."
"Wooow."
"Okay I've got to go. I like talking. I like you. I'll see you in a few weeks"
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