Gone Fishin'

This image is from a 1941 Woman's magazine. The text under the illustration reads:


As Sheila introduced the two men, she compared them. Douglas-strong, reliable, crazy about a home and appearances; Mark-a rebel, jealous of his freedom, fighting the idea of marriage, for an idea of love.

Here is what I think it should say:

Lets go fishing: Brokeback Style.

A Picnic

My boyfriend is a drunk, okay! Leave my carb addiction out of this.

Dig for Treasure

How is this an activity? What does it mean? Is it disgusting?

Nutting

In case you can't read it-
the caption below the picture reads
"To bring down a golden harvest toss a stick with good aim"

wow...

WORST CRAFTS EVER

"Don't keep me locked up in M. Night's village...I'm going to be a star, Mama!"

After much thought and deliberation, I have decided to change the format for this blog. Negativity about my workplace will never bring me anything but agony and guilt. So I am here to introduce the new Lazy Secretary Blog. It is now a forum for the gayest, worst crafts and old advertisements that I can find. I will still only add to this blog when I am at the office, so you can just put that in your pipe and smoke it. Yes, ladies and gents, it is so quiet at my office, that I am able to start a revolution at my desk.

Now don't get excited, I may continue musing about intensely strange outings that my boss sends me on, but the new focus is BAD CRAFTS and ADS from the past.

Oh Yeahhh!

The CFO's secretary walked by my cube at 5:22 and asked me if I was knitting (she caught me wrapping a regular skein into a ball) here's how it shook down:

CFO's Secretary: (with Russian accent) vhat are you doink? knittink?

Lazy: Oh. No not knitting, just wrapping, ummm its 5:25, and I'm just waiting to get out of here.

CFO's Secretary: hmmm (she tips her long Russian nose down at me over the cube and her eyes land on my chest) Why are you wearink dat?

She is referring to a necklace around my neck that says "Secretary" in red plastic scrolled letters. I picked it up at the renegade craft fair. (www.brookadelphia.com)

Lazy: oh. its funny. I love it.

I realized that she probably fought really hard to not be a secretary. And here I am living it up knitting at work and laughing at the kitch value of an overeducated person like me being a secretary. That's not nice, not nice at all.

Rolex

The Big Executive asked me to run to Rolex for him on the day of my company birthday surprise (everyone gets a special cake and card on their birthday thanks to a thoughtful Brooklynite who provides this service yet keeps her birthday secret). The Big Executive's driver meets me downstairs and whisks me to a corner that I assume will have a storefront and window with display cases. NO.

Rolex customer service is on the 5th floor of a swanky 5th Avenue building. Its so quiet inside due to soft carpeting that you can make out the words of the mix of 40's standards and show tunes that play on a soft loop. The customer service reps wear matching blazers and each have a gleaming Rolex on their wrists. (they sort of look like golfers) I wondered to myself if anyone started working there just for the watch and then quit upon receipt. When the blazer clad employees take the broken and dirty Rolexes to "the back" they disappear behind a set of doors that open and close like an elevator!! AND there are fresh cut flowers and orchids throughout the marbled and golden veneered room. There were very few customers on the 5th floor, just myself and a person of the Euro-trash persuasion. I know this from his supple pointy-toed shoes and sunglasses with "Alexandros" written on the side in rhinestones.

After handing over the watch and black American Express card, I swooped back down to the street and waited for my driver. When I reached the office I found on my desk, a card signed by all of my office friends and a beautiful French creme cake with a "Happy Birthday" plastic decoration in it. I missed my birthday party.

But it was worth it.